Friday, August 20, 2010


Is blogging just a way for my future husband and I to have internet conversations? Maybe so.

Still, D. is commenting today on the New York Times latest journalistic gem, "What is it About Twenty-Somethings?," and I think it's well worth a read. I must confess that part of my absence this week has been due to overwhelming frustration with a number of "current events" - including this charming blog post by the US Chamber of Commerce released yesterday and the ridiculous conservative upheaval over Dr. Laura Schlesinger's resignation. I've started more blog posts than I care to count on these issues, but they all seem to descend into incoherent tirades, which isn't really what you want to read, now is it?

A while back, Meg posted about life in her twenties and the adventures that came with it. Have you read the comments on that post? Because the things that community of women are doing with their lives are inspiring. This week, Lauren and Meg both posted about their Mondo Beyondo lists, and it's really had me thinking about all the exciting adventures ahead and the ways in which our marriages (or future marriages) help us achieve those wishes for ourselves. The most disappointing thing for me about the New York Times article (and the comments from the US Chamber of Commerce this week) was the disparagement of the lives young people lead today. The generation currently in its twenties is America's best educated and most accepting of diversity. It is true that many of us start families later than our parents did, but I think it's equally true that, at one time, many of us were encouraged to do so. And besides, the number of children I bear is not a true measure of my success. The young people I know may be poor, but they are not lazy - they work hard, often at jobs that under-reward them for their investment of time, energy and love.

It is one of the great gifts of the generations that "came of age" in the 1960s and 1970s that we enjoy freedom of reproductive choice and greater access to education. These choices and freedoms make me a better partner, and, I would argue, a more productive member of society. The New York Times article criticizes young people who - instead of buying homes and producing offspring - choose to spend the years after graduation in programs like Teach for America, but I would argue that it is these kinds of choices that demonstrate what is great about our generation. There is a very upsetting move at the moment toward a more conservative politics that emphasizes (women in particular) "finding the right partner at home" rather than exercising these rights and freedoms, living the heck out of our lives and giving of ourselves, even if that means the down payments come a little bit later than they did for our parents.

Today, I'm particularly thankful for this group of intelligent, independent, and inspiring women who blog about marriage, but, more importantly, about the choices we make and the ways we challenge ourselves. I'm grateful to stand on the fringes of a community that doesn't measure their lives by the New York Times' five pillars of adulthood, who ignore accusations that we're all experiencing extended adolescence while we work hard at jobs that matter instead of jobs that just pay, and, instead, live their lives fully and proudly and carve out a space for other women to do the same.

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Blogs have opened up a world of community and conversation between people thousands of miles apart. I love that. I do not love judgmental or nasty comments. They do not engender conversation and community.